i don't go there

today, my window is sunny.  sunny and breezy.  I long for rain. There wasn't enough this winter and I'm dry inside.  Too dry. 
   I'm not knitting today.  i'm weaving in the ends of two finished projects.  yes!  completion feels good. 
  There is saddness in the air due to the recent horrid event at the Boston Marathon.  Many friends ask me why I never mention current events on my blogs.... It's like this-  I'm a very hypersensitive person. i am already bombarded with horrible things from around the world on a daily basis-via the media.
  I just don't "go there" because if I do- its too easy for me to slip into that dark downward spiral of depression.  I take the weight of the world on my shoulders.  If I think too much about all the pain, suffering and sadness that goes on in this world it's all i see- I can't get beyond that.  I focus and obsess on the negative and forget that there are truly wonderful things about this world and life. I need to distance myself a bit.  It's not from lack of caring or concern for others but I need to take care of myself and stay afloat. my life experiences have sadly turned me into a very pessimistic being.
  My heart goes out to all the suffering folks everywhere.  Not just here in America.  Soon I will be attending a very large sporting event with my family- now, there will be a dark shadow in the back of mind- i'm not going to let it interfere with my fun-but it will still be there, lurking.  i think about school children in this day and age- does fear lurk in the back of their minds that some crazy person may come to school and hurt them?  when i was a child- that thought never entered my mind.... ever.  we were taught not to accept rides from strangers-but that was about the extent of it.  advice i luckily remembered once.
  so, i sit here looking out the window while weaving in my yarn ends- as i try not to "go there." i feel the warmth of the wool on my fingers and  i attempt to find some inner peace in this chaotic experience we call life.